Updated Jan 2012-Klindhh
Society's approach to sexuality is one of cautious acceptance. Su'ndi society is one that is enamoured with decadance and novelty and the Su'ndari as a whole are drawn to new and sensual experiences, Pregnancy rates are not high and marriages usually happen well into the twenties. However legitimate heirs are very important to the health of a Su'ndari House and many traditions and viewpoints are aimed at ensuring the legitimacy of heirs. The end result is a society that expects individuals will have discreet sexual relationships whilst encouraging behaviour, such as virginity, that will enable Houses to better determine who is likely to remain faithful during marriage. Adultery in particular is treated very harshly.
The brideprice is the tool through which many of these encouragements and discouragements are applied. Behaving in a way that society considers unreasonable will impact the brideprice that a House will be expected to pay in order to secure a marriage. When the man is considered at fault the minimum brideprice will increase considerably whilst a woman who gets a reputation will decrease it substantially. High bloodline values increase the brideprice making any modification to their brideprice have a greater impact. As a result adults from high bloodlines have the highest social expectations regarding their sexual lives. When a brideprice is high their will often be pressure from the House for the woman to appear virginal but it is a rare thing for a woman in her mid twenties or later to be a virgin. Should an individual cause a social scandal due to their sexual behaviour the reaction of the House will vary greatly. The response depends on the Houses expectations for that individual and also the social impact of their behaviour. Disownment, whilst possible, is almost unknown unless there is an impact to the House beyond the brideprice. For example if a betrothal was broken disownment would be considered reasonable.
Despite the permissiveness of the society during the unmarried years the su'ndari are not visibly affectionate people. A persons sex life is something that should be kept discreetly out of the public eye and the su'ndari generally dislike displays of public affection. This formal distance tends to vanish during the festival months. It is only when a persons behaviour forces society to notice that it causes harm. Situations likely to cause this are unmarried pregnancy, homosexuality and promiscuity. See +theme sexuality contraception for some more information on sexual relations.
Marriage is the most sexually restrictive period of any man or womans life. Neither side is socially permitted to seek sexual satisfaction from anyone other than their spouse whilst the marriage exists. Should either partner be found to be cheating on their spouse they will be considered a contract breaker and the Magisters will force a divorce. Getting a reputation as a contract breaker has very serious implications all through society. Adultery's stakes are, as in many cultures, highest for married women. To be caught being unfaithful to her husband creates doubt as to the legitimacy of her existing and future children.
Prostitution does not make the prostitute (male or female) into a social outcast. Some Houses actually run brothels as their main business with all members involved in some way. In general using a brothel, prostitute or a companion in this way is safe. As nudity is not something that the Su'ndi have problems with prostitutes will often advertise that they are seeking business by wearing loincloths and painting their bodies with bright (and often beautiful) patterns.
Another blunt way of putting it is as follows:
If he/she is slutting it up then they get a reputation as a slut and this effects future marriage negotiations. If he/she has one or two discreet relationships then he is fine. She loses her the part of her bloodprice related to the perception of virginity which may or may not matter depending on the Houses viewpoints and his/her bloodline value.
These are some specific examples.
- Anna (who will never be married) is found out to be having a relationship. It causes a bit of a gossip storm but because Anna already had 0 bloodline value and she is only involved in one relatively discreet relationship. Its pretty much irrelevant to her. If Anna is later found out to be having several relationships or gets pregnant as a result of her dalliances she will be seen as a bit of a slut. However since Anna has little value as a bride none of this will effect her much.
- Betty who has a average bloodline value is found to be having a relationship. As long as she hasn't been blatantly wiping her affair in everyones faces people generally ignore it. The fact she is no longer a virgin reduces her brideprice by a small amount. Due to the small amount her house are unlikely to care a great deal either. If Betty was to get pregnant or have several relationships she will be seen as a bit of a slut. This will have a significant effect on her brideprice and may cause problems between her and the House Leadership.
- Cellice who has a high bloodline value is found to be having a relationship. As long as she hasn't been blatantly wiping her affair in everyones faces people generally ignore it. The fact she is no longer a virgin reduces her brideprice by a significant amount. Due the significance of this loss her house is likely to pressurise her to remain a virgin. If Cellice was to get pregnant or have several relationships she will be seen as a bit of a slut. This will have a huge effect on her brideprice and her House may consider this betrayal sufficient to justify disownment.
- Anna, Betty and Cellice all have a relationship with a member of the flower house. Nobody really cares about Anna and Betty. Cellice loses the virginity aspect of her brideprice and this has the same effects as above. If Anna, Betty or Cellice gets pregnant she will be seen as a bit of a slut with all the normal disadvantages this brings.
- Dennis who has a high bloodline value is found to be having a relationship. As long as he hasn't been blatantly wiping his affair in everyones faces people generally ignore it. If Dennis was to have several relationships he would be seen as a bit of a slut. This will have a huge effect on any marriage negotiations involving him and his House may consider this betrayal sufficient to justify disownment.
- Elkin of House Alpha is betrothed to Feebie of House Beta. If Elkin or Feebie get involved in a relationship with anyone else then the House of their planned spouse will consider it an insult. This may result in the betrothal being called off and potentially require recompense from one House to the other. The House of the transgressor may consider this betrayal sufficient to justify disownment.
- Grayam Delta and Hoya are married and have yet to fulfill the terms of their marriage contract. They have three children. Hoya has an affair and it becomes public knowledge. House Delta is forced by public opinion to cast Hoya out and all three children are declared bastards. This is because Hoya has cast doubt upon the legitimacy of the children with her actions. Hoya returns to her birth house Kilo and the illegitimate children also become members of House Kilo in the process. House Kilo are likely to consider her actions betrayal enough to justify disownment. They may or may not keep the children if they disown her. House Delta sues House Kilo for recompense.
- Grayam Delta and Hoya are married and have yet to fulfill the terms of their marriage contract. They have three children. Grayam has an affair and it becomes public knowledge. House Delta is forced by public opinion to divorce Grayam and Hoya and Hoya returns to her birth house Kilo. The three children remain legitimate members of House Delta. House Delta are likely to consider Grayam's actions betrayal enough to justify disownment. House Kilo is likely to sue House Delta for recompense.
- Grayam Delta and Hoya are married and have fulfilled the terms of their marriage contract. They have three children. Grayam has an affair and it becomes public knowledge. Grayam and Hoya are forced to divorce. House Delta may consider Grayam's actions betrayal enough to justify disownment. The three children remain legitimate members of House Delta.
- Grayam Delta and Hoya are married and have fulfilled the terms of their marriage contract. They have three children. Hoya has an affair and it becomes public knowledge. Hoya and Grayam are forced to divorce and Hoya's brideprice will be greatly effected. Hoya will be forced to leave her husbands House and her birth House may choose to disown her. The legitimacy of the three children will be called into question and they may be branded illegitimate. Children born in a previous marriages may also have their legitimacy called into question.
- Indigo is discovered in a relationship with another woman. This negatively impacts her brideprice as Houses consider her to be less likely to have children. This may have a significant effect on her brideprice and may cause problems between her and the House Leadership up to and including disownment.
- Jungo is discovered in a relationship with another man. This negatively impacts marriage negotiations involving him as Houses consider him less likely to father children in a suitable timeframe. This may have a significant effect if marriage was important to the house's plans and may cause problems between him and the House Leadership up to and including disownment.
